Sunday, February 24, 2013

Top Ten: Most Imitated Swings of All Time


We've all had those moments playing whiffle ball in the backyard and for whatever reason its time switch up the ole stroke. Maybe the pitcher is throwing a breaking ball that starts four feet behind you and crosses the plate on the outside corner, or maybe you simply can't miss and you are playing pepper with your  Dad's tool shed in left field. No matter what the situation, its time to stop caring about all of those swings off of the Tee perfecting your swing, and time to capture some magic that lies in the most awkward yet effective swings of all time.

10.) Morgan Ensberg
-You've been tense all game, missing pitches you usually hit, swinging at pitches you usually don't. It's time to relax and do what feels natural. You raise your hands up higher than normal... and then a little higher. Wiggle the bat in no particular pattern, just make sure its wiggled really hard because that will make the ball go farther. Open your stance a little, and when the pitch comes UNLOAD! You aimed for Billy's house, which is four blocks away, but you whiffed. However, its ok because the pitcher is now scared out of his mind.
9.) Albert Pujols
-For whatever reason your mechanics are just off today. You've popped up to the pitcher off of Johnny's knuckle slider three times and you've had it. So you decide to imitate the most technically sound player of all time, you widen your stance and put your hands as far back and up as possible so that your bicep covers your mouth. You rock back and forth lifting your front toe off the ground as you rock back. It doesn't matter what happens next because with this stance a flawed swing is impossible.

8.) Derek Jeter
-Its time to clutch up, you are down a run with two runners in scoring position and it's the bottom of the not important, but Dan's knees hurt so he faked a call from his mom who told him he needs to run home to empty the dishwasher, so we all declared this the last inning. You give your best Derek Jeter impersonation and try to hit the ball to the opposite field, which probably works because Derek Jeter is a boss.

7.) Ken Griffey Jr.
-You have been hitting seeds all game, but nothing has gone over the fence. Of course you turn to Griffey's swing because it's perfect. You are probably right handed but you can't imitate Griffey from the right side so you take your chances and assume the smoothness of the bat path will send the ball into orbit.

6.) Andres Galarraga
-Johnny's front door slider has been buckling you all day. You know its a whiffle ball, but it still hurts when it hits you. The only logical adjustment is to open your stance completely so you are facing the pitcher, that way you can track the slider that moves a whole body length into the strike zone a smack it for a hit.

5.) Sammy Sosa
-Sammy was well known for hitting lasers that left the park in a hurry and it's time for you to do the same. You widen your stance, bend the knees a little, give a little toe tap and smack it out of the park. You know its gone before you even hit it, so you give two Sammy shuffles and sprint around the bases.

4.) Ichiro Suzuki
-You've been swinging for the fences all day and it hasn't been working. You decide that it's time to utilize your speed. No you aren't fast usually, but when the base is 50 feet away you feel like Usain Bolt. You bat left handed, even though you are a righty, and give the bat a huge Ichiro windmill and point it at the pitcher. When the pitch comes you lift your right leg and swing and run to first simultaneously. The ball only goes five feet but that running start helped you beat out the infield single.

3.) Jeff Bagwell
-You are the only kid playing who never played past Little League but you are an avid baseball fan. You can't hit anything because even the best hitters have trouble hitting whiffle balls that move like this.   It's your last at bat and you think back to Jeff Bagwell's game winning hit at your first ever MLB game. You spread your legs out as far as you can and squat down as low as you can. It immediately starts to burn because you can only squat up a max of 180 pounds. You immediately begin to regret this decision, revert back to your normal swing, take your strikeout and sit back down on the bench.

2.) Craig Counsell
-You are the funny guy in the group, you are worse than the Jeff Bagwell kid but your friends don't care because they think your jokes are funny. You walk up for your first at-bat and ask all of your baseball playing friends if this looks correct, and you give your best Counsell impersonation. They all laugh and you proceed to strike out.

1.) Gary Sheffield
-Its time to hit a bomb. You tried the Griffey swing, but that didn't work at all. So its time to copy the most recognizable swing of all time. You wave the bat back and forth very violently and as the pitch comes you lift your front leg and swing out of your mind. You whiff, pull something in your back, but try again because its important that you show your friends that you can hit a whiffle ball 100 feet over the tool shed.

-Blake Dale Lepire

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